Film Review: Left Behind (2014)
It’s time for another apocalyptic Hollywood movie that chooses to ignore the Book of Revelation and does its own (boring) thing. In Left Behind (2014), there are no locusts or rivers of blood in sight as we follow a small group of mostly nameless people who didn’t get Raptured.
Ray Steele is a married pilot planning to cheat on his born again Christian wife. Their daughter, Chloe, scoffs at her mother’s faith and openly questions God’s actions regarding natural disasters. Cameron “Buck” Williams is an investigative journalist who’s seen too much death. Hattie is a flight attendant and Ray’s unwitting partner in cheating. Then there’s a gambling dwarf, a drug addicted heiress, a greedy business man, a UFO enthusiast, a Muslim, a mother with a daughter leaving her husband, a senile old lady, and several other people who might as well not have been there. Chloe is on the ground and everybody else is on a plane being flown by Ray.
Before her father takes off to London, Chloe finds out about his plans, which creates an even bigger rift in the Steele family. She also meets Buck and saves him from a crazy Jesus lady who insists God is good despite all the awful shit happening around the world. Chloe has a speech ready because of her equally pious mother. Buck’s impressed and they hit it off. When Chloe finally gets home, we meet her mother and she doesn’t seem that bad? This in turn makes her daughter seem unreasonable and needlessly combative. That’s probably because this is a Christian-friendly movie and we should be rooting for all the unbelievers to see the light. In fact, both Chloe and Ray will later talk about how she knew what was going to happen thanks to the Bible. So, she guessed that it would be nothing like the Book of Revelation?
Chloe’s little brother doesn’t appear affected by his mother’s faith and he insists on going to the mall and buy stuff. Hmm, that sounds a little too materialistic for Jesus. Anyway, while they’re there, the Rapture happens and millions of people all over the world simply disappear, leaving behind their clothes. Seriously?! Millions?! I know movies in general require their audience to suspend their disbelief, but Left Behind takes things a little too far by asking us to believe that there are millions of Christians all over the world that would meet God’s strict criteria for Rapture eligibility. That’s pretty optimistic. Oh, and how do people react to such a crazy event? LOOTING! Yes, right after seeing their loved ones vanish before their eyes, people immediately start stealing stuff. WTF?! No wonder God ditched these idiots. Thankfully for Chloe, everyone is too busy nabbing those designer jeans they’ve been eyeing all year to start the customary apocalyptic rape gangs, so the only thing that happens to her while she’s trying to walk home is a couple of assholes taking her brother’s backpack. At one point, we’re told all the children, including the older ones, were whisked away to Heaven. This is clearly an outrageous case of ageism. Also, God is totally going to regret that.
Though she saw her brother disappear while she was hugging him, Chloe walks around looking for him and even breaks into the hospital, which somehow is still working. It’s funny that we see ambulances and cop cars all over the place considering what’s going on. So, none of these doctors, nurses, first responders, and members of law enforcement were good enough for God, and yet they just keep doing their job? It could be that the movie is making a statement about how not fitting an outdated, restrictive, faith-based idea of virtue doesn’t make someone a bad person… or it could be that no one really thought of it and simply replicated the typical Hollywood catastrophe scenario. Of course, Chloe doesn’t find her brother and returns home to not find her mother either. Who does she find in her wanderings? Pastor Bruce, who was responsible for her mother embracing Jesus. It seems that for all his preaching, Pastor Bruce wasn’t much of a believer. This is a very interesting situation, certainly worthy of a long dialogue about the nature of fai… and it’s over because for some reason, Chloe must keep moving.
Meanwhile, up in the air, people are panicking in predictable ways while sharing as little personal information as possible. After examining the missing copilot and flight attendant’s respective belongings, Ray concludes it’s the Rapture. Drug addicted heiress thinks the same because she went to a religious camp once. Okay, here’s the thing, you don’t need to be religious to know these things and the Christian Apocalypse isn’t some obscure concept. It would’ve made more sense if everyone was comparing this to what Hollywood has been telling movie goers for decades and wondering where the Four Horsemen and the Antichrist are. Anyway, you’d think knowing what’s happening would make people talk about why they might’ve been rejected - you’d be wrong. The movie needs the audience to root for these people’s survival, so they can’t be evil. But at the same time, the audience can’t think God is an asshole for rejecting them. So, there’s neither complaining about the unfairness of it all, nor confessing of dark sins. Even Pastor Bruce accepts his fate. After colliding with another plane mid-air, Ray’s plane starts losing fuel and they must land quickly or they will crash. Luckily, he and Buck manage to contact Chloe before she jumps off a bridge. Literally. Long story short, she clears an abandoned road, the plane lands, and everything’s fine. Except for the fact that it’s the end of the world and all the unworthy have been left behind by God to fend for themselves, abandoned in a dark world… along with all the Hindus, Buddhists, Taoists, Wiccans, Voodooists, you know, all the people now stuck in another religion’s end of times. Of course, the movie just ignores them, since that would probably ruin the happy-ish ending.
The movie ends with a Biblical quote, more specifically Mark 13:32 “But of that day and hour knoweth no man”. So, you better repent and embrace Jesus NOW!
By the way, the movie never explains if the Rapture affects only Christians or if it also includes Jews and Muslims. There’s a Muslim character, but he was eyeing drug addicted heiress when she boarded the plane, so maybe that’s why he wasn’t Raptured. He never says anything about it and insists they’re all praying to the same God, though. Let’s face it, if the movie is taking all this from the Bible, it’s pretty obvious who’s in and who’s out, but that would greatly limit this movie’s already limited appeal.
VERDICT
Left Behind is predictable and shallow. Somewhat less boring than the equally Apocalypse-based The Seventh Sign. Really, what’s the point of making this type of movie and leaving out all the crazy stuff in the Book of Revelation? If you’re going to preach, at least give me the Four Horsemen, the Beasts, and worldwide destruction.
By Danforth