A Goat 4 Zazzie

It’s time for some Netflix horror with French series Marianne (2019). Needless to say, there will be SPOILERS . Oh, and if some of the names are misspelled (like Inspector Raunan’s in the review posted/tweeted while watching) it’s the subtitles’ fault (BTW if the new spelling is wrong, it’s imdb’s fault). First, the plot: Emma is the famous author of a bestselling series of books following the fight between Lizzie Larck and evil dead witch Marianne. The stories were born from her terrifying nightmares, which stopped once she began writing. However, as soon as she decides to finish the series, Marianne begins to haunt her dreams again. But are they really just dreams? Caroline, a childhood friend of Emma’s doesn’t think so and tells her her mother, Mrs Daugeron, claims to be possessed by Marianne, which led her to torture her husband and daughter. Emma doesn’t believe her, but after Caroline tells her Marianne is going to attack her parents right before killing herself in front of her,

Maybe calling Cirque by Terry Carr an Apocalypse is stretching things a little, but since it involves a religious revelation, we think it could fit in the category. Also, we’re trying to keep the religious weirdness in this blog. Warning: SPOILERS . In the future, with the majority of humans spread out through space, Earth has been reduced to a historic landmark. Its most important city is Cirque, a tourist attraction with a peaceful population and many temples. The people of Cirque are all connected through the monitor, a holopath who can see into every mind and broadcast the experiences they deem the most important to everyone. The city was built around a seemingly bottomless hole dubbed the Abyss. Scientists believe the Abyss goes all the way down to the centre of the Earth, while the priests believe that it’s where all sins come together to form the Beast. The Abyss was a gigantic receiver of all that was dark and evil in human nature, a deep force that drew to itself the hatreds,

The post mentioned in the first paragraph – also named Someone Is An Idiot – didn’t survive the blog reshuffling, but this one pretty much covers everything. And since that title was better than  The Hate Watching Phase, which was  the original title of this post, I decided to reuse it. Welcome to the Hate Watching Phase. It’s that time when you realize that a once good show has taken a nosedive quality-wise, but you still can’t stop watching. I’ve been there with  Lost  and  Game of Thrones . I kept complaining, pointing out all the stupid plot developments, plot holes, and nonsensical character behaviour, and yet, I just couldn’t ignore it. At one point, I did stop watching… only to then go to online forums and read other people’s rants about them. This is supposed to be followed by the peaceful and quiet Indifference Phase. Right now, thanks to that recent Peter Thiel mess, I’m stuck in the Hate Watch Phase and eagerly awaiting the move to the Indifference Phase. Yes, I know the Thi

In End of Days , the Devil turns up every 1000 years to impregnate a specific woman. If he succeeds, he can take over the world, and it’s the End. The year is 1999 and the woman is Christine, who’s been marked from birth for this fate. Her only hope? Suicidal former cop Jericho. This means the fate of the world depends on his ability to cock block the Devil. It doesn't look like an easy task, but he’s played by Arnold Schwarzenegger, so the Devil doesn’t stand a chance… or does he? Warning: SPOILERS . Fun fact : this came out in the same year as Stigmata (reviewed here ), which, coincidentally, also featured Gabriel Byrne. Clearly, 1999 had some issues. I know that Hollywood loves to twist or outright ignore what the Book of Revelation actually says, but End of Days goes even further and uses a single verse (Revelation 20:7 – “When the thousand years are over, Satan will be released from his prison” ) to justify a plot that has absolutely nothing to do with it. Since the movie ca

Jennifer’s Body (2009), the openly feminist horror comedy movie filled with witty, quotable dialogue, that did what no horror movie had done before by making its two central characters female… or is it? Well, I wrote this review, so… Warning: SPOILERS . Welcome to Devil’s Kettle, a small town named after a waterfall that disappears into a seemingly bottomless hole. This is where we find Jennifer and Anita, aka Needy, who have been best friends since they were kids. They even have matching BFF necklaces! The 2 couldn’t be more different – Jennifer is a beautiful cheerleader whom all the boys lust after, while Needy is a dork who wears glasses (which means the audience must accept her as plain even though she’s played by Amanda Seyfried) and has a sweet boyfriend, Chip, who doesn’t like his girlfriend’s bestie. The movie begins with Jennifer in her room watching TV, while Needy watches her through the window and declares in voiceover that “Hell is a teenage girl”. This is the beginning